A whole week

I cant believe it has been a whole week since I last sat and updated my blog properly. Well today is my day off and it is grey and raining & I have to go to the dreaded dentist, so not a good start to my day.
We had a lovely weekend with the grandchildren we took them to the East Anglian game & country fair, it was an excellent day out & they got to see & try all sorts of things, my grandson Bradley had a go on the archery & he loved it.

Bradley then got suited up to try his climbing technique on the clibing wall, I think he did well as he's only small.

We did take a picnic, but there was no need as you could eat your way around the show, with speciality food & drink from every corner of the globe.

I wasn't feeling at my best on Saturday & nearly didn't go as I awoke at 4.20 am with a migraine & was woken again at 6.30 by two little people playing on the trampoline in the garden, which is under my bedroom window.


I dont seem to have had any time for cardmaking so I must finish the new baby welcome to the world card I started for my new grandaughter,I stated it on Thursday after we got the news of her safe arrival, but it is quite time consuming, I decided to make a chipboard book from scratch that spells the word baby.

I had a sad phone call last night that my daughter in laws dad had died, when she was here at the weekend we talked about her Dad & I didn't realise that the end was that close, but looking back her words were very similar to mine when my dad was in the late stages on cancer. So i have to make a couple of sad cards today, I have known my daughter in law since she was just 2 years old, so we will go down for the funeral as well.

Then a happy card Bradley is 7 on saturday so I must make his birthday card & get that in the post. Although it will be a hard day for them having just lost grandad.

A wealthy old lady

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful old poodle Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!', says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....


Don't mess with old farts ............... age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance come only with age and experience.

If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.



Hope the print size is big enough.

Not for the easily offended

A guy checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in the phone books under "Escorts and Massages."

He opened the phone book to an ad for a girl calling herself Erotique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind .... So he is in his room and figures, what the hell, he gives her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God she sounded sexy!

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait; I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night. Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream; anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

Who's the smarter??

TRAIN TICKET

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football

At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men.

'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.

They all board the train.

The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.

The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.

The conductor takes it and moves on.

The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.


When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!

'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' says one perplexed man.

'Watch and learn,' answer the women.

When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.

The woman knocks on their door and says, 'Ticket, please.'

I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women!

9 words women use!!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" .... that will bring on a "whatever").
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ____ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

Never argue with a woman

Never Argue with a Woman...

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?)
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. 'I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
Send this to four women who are thinkers. If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.

New Arrival

We have a new arrival in the family ~ Larissa Katy-Lynn arrived at 1.03 am weighing a tiny 5lb 9oz and 48cm long.
Emma & Larissa are both fine.

A busy weekend ahead

Yipee!!
I now have four days off, I have had to change my day off this week due to the one day teachers strike, I support them completely. Having worked in a school as a special needs teaching assistant the additional work that teachers and support staff undertake in their own time is a huge amount and without this goodwill children would not have such a full & rounded experience at school. So today I have Abi at home with me, Dan has had to go into school as he is in 6th form preparing for his A levels he was hoping to be able to go into school & all but one lesson is still taking place.
Abi & I will make a couple of new baby cards today as 9pm last night we had a phone call from my step daughter to say she was just off to the hospital, she is about to have her second daughter, our 5th grandchild.
We also need to get the house ready for the weekend as we have my step son, his wife & our 2 grandchildren visiting for the weekend. We are all off to the East anglian game & country fair www.ukgamefair.co.uk for the day on saturday with my two sister-in-laws & their families. There will be 14 of us, so it should be a good day. Sunday will be clearing up after the visitors & a stint in the craft room with my new Pink petticoat downloads.
Happy Crafting

Todays words of wisdom

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Paul Merton

Todays words of wisdom

Murphy must never have imagined that his casual statement would someday become law! Murphy's Laws symbolize the error-prone nature of people and processes. Given below is a top 10 list of Murphy's Laws. These weren't actually uttered by Murphy. They just belong to the category of quotations that are known as "Murphy's Laws."

1. Murphy's Law

If something can go wrong, it will.

2. Murphy's Law

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

3. Murphy's Law

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

4. Murphy's Law

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

5. Murphy's Law

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

6. Murphy's Law

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

7. Murphy's Law

Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

8. Murphy's Law

The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

9. Murphy's Law

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

10. Murphy's Law

The first myth of management is that it exists.

Todays words of wisdom

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Todays words of wisdom ~ what is the meaning of the serenity poem

Serenity means that I no longer recoil from the past, live in jeopardy because of my present behavior, or worry about the unknown future. I seek regular times to re-create myself and I avoid those times of depletion that makes me vulnerable to despair and to old self-destructive patterns.

This Serenity comes from within the individual.
It is not based upon material wealth or external pleasures.
It comes from daily doing our best and the understanding that our "best" is going to change from moment to moment, often based upon our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
It comes from using our special gifts and talents on a daily basis in a manner that will not only benefit others but also be a witness of our personal beliefs.

Accepting change means that I do not cause suffering for myself by clinging to that which no longer exists. All that I can count on is that nothing will be stable --- except how I respond to the transforming cycles in my life of birth, growth and death.

Accepting things I cannot change.
You cannot change your environment in which you live.
You cannot stop the sun from moving across the sky.
If it is external to you, you most likely cannot change it alone.
Giving up my attempts to control outcomes does not require that I give up my boundaries or my best efforts. It does mean my most honest appraisal of the limits of what I can do.

Courage to change the things I can.
I can only change that which is internal to me.
I can change an external appearance.
I set my own personal boundaries of what I can do or allow to be done unto me.
By daily doing my personal best I am satisfied, but I let go of the outcomes and place no expectations on them.

Wisdom becomes the never forgotten recognition of all those times when it seemed there was no way out and new paths opened up like miracles in my life.
The wisdom to know the difference.
Wisdom does not come from a book, listening to a tape or watching something.
To be knowledgeable or learned does not imply wisdom.

Wisdom comes from the application of knowledge within the experience of life.
True wisdom comes from stepping outside the common boundaries of the mundane world and fully living life, often on what may be considered the ragged edge.

True wisdom comes through facing the challenges and opportunities presented by the daily events of human experience and learning from each experience; even if that experience teaches you that the experience is beyond your personal, individual ability to achieve or accomplish.
True wisdom teaches that failure is not being able to not succeed, but rather that failure is not being willing to try.

Todays words of wisdom

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” Another thought provoking James Dean quote that shows us how important it is to be flexible in our daily undertakings.

Orange County Choppers

Abi went out for the day yesterday to Hemsby with her father, she loves motorbikes especially the custom built Orange County choppers that are featured in the programme of the same name on the Discovery channel, The guys were over from the states but unfortunately only for 4 hours on Friday.
She just loves to pose & this big custom built bike was just asking to have it's picture taken.

Struggling to find my creative Mojo

Oh what a funny day......I couldn't settle to anything and feel like I have lost my creative mojo. I spent 3 hours in my craft room this afternoon and these four cards are all I could come up with, I know 4 cards isn't bad but the images were some that I had already pre-coloured & matted ready for mounting.






















































All of the images are mounted on Bazzill Bling, its just so yummy I am using it on everything.

Todays words of wisdom

Believe In Yourself
By Author Unknown

There may be days when you get up in the morning
and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be,
that's when you have to tell yourself
that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down,
but those are the times when you must remind yourself
to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your
life focused on believing in yourself
and all that you are capable of.

There will be challenges to face and
changes to make in your life,
and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.

It may not be easy at times,
but in those times of struggle
you will find a stronger sense of who you are,
so when the days come that are filled with
frustration and unexpected responsibilities,
remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be,
because the challenges and changes will only help you to
find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep believing in yourself.

Race for Life

My 12 year old daughter Abi is doing the race for life in aid of Cancer research this year on Sunday 4th may in Norwich. If anybody would like to sponsor her she will be very Grateful for any help to reach her target.
She is doing the race dressed as a fairy with her best friend Daisy & her auntie Tina.
Many Thanks
Lisa & Abi
X

Apache Wedding Blessing

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth for the other.

Now there is no more loneliness.

Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.

May your days together be good and long
upon the earth.

Yay!!!! Lots of handmade cards for me

It's my birthday today and I have had all handcrafted cards, as some of you know I work in the art & craft department of a large independent department store. I usually make the cards for colleagues birthdays , so nobody could decide who should make my birthday card, so they solved the problem by everyone making a card of their own, I was really touched as some people had never made a card before, I hope they don't blame me if they now get hooked on card making.

Created for me By Lynn

Created for me By Carol

Created for me By Tewsday

Created for me By Nicola

Created for me By Nicole

Created for me By Amanda

Created for me By Jen

Created for me By Ace

Created for me By Selina

Created for me By Joanne

Thank you to everyone for your Hand crafted cards & Birthday wishes , I hope if you drop by my blog you have enjoyed seeing this collection of cards.

Todays cards

I have been trying to get into my craft room all week to finish making up cards with the pile of stamped & printed images I have coloured, but so far I have only managed to finish two.

Todays words of wisdom ~ Birthday

"Age deosn't matter, unless your cheese."
John Paul Getty

"Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated."
Author Unknown

"A birthday is a time to reflect on the year gone by, but to also set your goals for the upcoming year."

Todays words of wisdom

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

Todays words of wisdom

The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.
Unknown author

Todays words of wisdom

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life
Winston Churchill

Todays words of wisdom

Footprints on the Heart

Some people come into our lives
and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us
to new understanding
with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make
the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts
And we are never, ever the same.